Ghosts of Engineering

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Before going into the detail, I would like to clarify a general thought about ghosts. When inquired about ghosts the usual response of people is that it’s something supernatural or more specifically a spirit that in simple words is stuck in the real world and haunts people. That’s the definition you would find everywhere. But it’s not how I would define ghosts. A ghost can be simply anything which we can’t see or comprehend. With advancements in science and thought, the ghosts have also changed. The things that haunt people are those which they fail to understand. Ancient people linked them with some supernatural existences and called them a ghost. For modern people things have changed. We say we don’t believe in ghosts but are still haunted by them, only they are different from the ones in the past. To explain my statement, as the title suggests I will “investigate” the ghosts that haunt an engineering student, something I have learnt with personal experience.

When you are a student of engineering, much like the primeval people you are supposed to deal with things you neither comprehend and in most cases nor can see. Take the example of electrical engineering. Electric current, electron flow, digital logic, all of these things don’t have a physical existence. We can’t touch them or experience them. They are just in our mind and we are supposed to work with them. These are the fundamental ghosts that haunt a student of electrical engineering. Every engineering has its own kind of fundamental ghosts.  As soon as a student enters the class on the first day he is surrounded by them which than haunt him throughout the engineering course. There is no way to get rid of them and are supposed to be accepted as a part of your life as an engineer.

As the engineering progresses these fundamental ghosts build up into more and more horrid kinds of ghosts, whose effects and powers are greatly multiplied alongside their ability to torture and haunt. These are advanced ghosts. Even if some lucky ones survived the fundamental ghosts, great will-power is required to get rid of advanced ghosts and a lot of students surrender to their massive power. There are no known ways to tackle this class of ghosts. Some people claim to have done it through dire practices like paying attention to a teacher or sitting and spending time with these ghosts in their favorite place i.e. a library. But the health risks in these practices are too great and are discouraged. A generally accepted practice however is to befriend someone expert in the habits of the particular ghosts and use their knowledge to your advantage. However this practice requires different kinds of offerings to the expert, preferably something edible.

The third kind of ghosts are more dangerous and have a stronger effect. These are the time ghosts. These haunt for a certain length of time and usually disappear only to return again after a short time. When a student is haunted by time ghosts he is seen in a strange state of lost thoughts. He can be observed walking aimlessly, staring into spaces, bumping his head on the walls and in some extreme cases crying in corners. There is no remedy for this kind of haunting except wait. When the ghosts have done their part they will leave but usually the damage done is non-repairable with high amount of loss in self confidence and self respect. For those who are not strong willed the effects are sometimes far more devastating such as losing hope in life, becoming a photographer or joining a gang. A student faces them countless times in different forms, sometimes friendly sometimes revengeful. But these kinds of ghosts do exhibit a weakness for haunting more than one person at a time. Hence the best way to survive them is to work together. Assignments, quizzes (and if someone is brave enough to risk it) exams should be done at least in groups of two; although a larger number is advisable to avoid haunting by these kind of ghosts. But this also has carries certain dangers which a student is warned about countless times by teachers (who most probably have teamed up with these ghosts).

It doesn’t end here. After surviving the fundamental ghosts,  the advanced ghosts and the time ghosts there is the superior of them all , the Great Pain Acquirer ghost, or as it is known commonly among the students the GPA ghost. As the name suggests its only mission is to bring pain and feed on the happiness of students. Faced about 8-times during a typical engineering this ghost has the ability to bring pain experienced never before by the students. This pain usually disturbs the student to his roots. Its effects are so great that certain students, filled with pain decide to never study for the rest of their lives. But this pain is short experienced and after an extreme torment of 2-3 days this ghost also disappears along with the pain.  However the side effects of the pain are usually seen to last about 6 months to a year and vary from person to person. Some of the side effects include continuous muttering about study or restricting oneself to their room and ending all extra-curricular activities. There are two ways to survive this ghost. One is to party so hard that the pain is diminished by all that happiness flowing in you. This is the preferred way although the side effects can be life threatening usually by the hands of parents. The other one which is gruesome, hard and requires an iron will is to kill all the happiness in your life and study. When the Great Pain Acquirer is unable to sense any happiness it doesn’t haunt you and becomes your mighty ally so that you can join forces and haunt the other students who are happy. However as mentioned above this requires a great sacrifice and should be avoided except when no other way can be seen.

These are the four kinds of ghosts every engineering student is haunted by. There can be numerous others like relationship ghosts, family ghosts or want-to-be-famous ghosts but these vary with the individual. So next time anyone asks you: “Do you believe in ghosts?” With visible tears (it’s necessary they are visible so that they know your pain) in the eyes reply to them “Yes…They exist.”

 

Note: All the practices mentioned in this post should be followed at your own risk and the writer is not responsible for any damages, physical or spiritual.

 

 

Hamza Akram

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