I hope you are not dead when this letter finds you.
It seems like days since I last tried a link that I did not have to refresh 5 times to see if it was of any use. I mean, I have never changed as many channels on Amir Liaqat as you have been changing your connection status on me! Seriously, if you had a mother, she would have disowned you by now after a “no-rishtas-for-you!” dialogue. That’s because you are as fast as light, which is mostly switched off from the back.
But I do think that the situation is not so bad after all. You haven’t shunned us completely into the stone age, where we would have to transfer all our data using flash drives. You, at least, run… after about one thousand neurons have blistered to death in my brain (those few which are probably the source of all IQ I have). And, not to forget, that you have given us a new hope: we can have our assignment deadlines rescheduled much easily saying “net nahi a raha”, which now, thanks to you, is almost always true.
You have also helped me know more about my own self. I now know for a fact that I am actually a pretty good person, because I have been surviving with you, and I haven’t killed anyone, yet. But now, you are turning into that horror movie that scares no one, but everyone still keeps glued to the screen till the very end.
In fact, now that I look at it, you have made me such a better person. I have never been so thankful in my whole life as now, when a web page successfully loads on the first try; nor have I prayed so much as I have done now, for your speedy recovery. I have also become a terribly persistent person: you only have to count the number of times I keep refreshing the same page without giving up on it. Oh, and the new level of patience and focus I have achieved: I can now look for long minutes at the slowly spinning circle at the corner for my browser tab. If only I was betting some money on whether you would give the “unable to connect to the internet” message, I’d be rich.
Please get well soon real quick. I am down to the bunch of lamest movies and seasons in my collection now.
On behalf of the NUST Community
P.S. [hashtag] You need fixing. (Read: #StopRuiningMyLife)