10:44 pm - Tuesday February 20, 2018

From The Depths Of My Heart


This article is a combination of fiction and reality and its tone is inspired by the film “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”; a film I was watching an unhealthy amount of time during my exams… 

These words are better out than in. These fallacious preconceptions are enough to poison your blood to an “off the charts” level; causing death within milliseconds, lethal than the most dangerous drug that ever existed or would ever exist. Those four letters couldn’t have arranged themselves in a more pathetic, degrading, Godless manner than they already did. The alphabets that are subjected to my utmost, absolute denunciation are X, A, E, M and that bastard amalgam they arrange themselves in is, “EXAMS”.

I wonder what was going on in the mind of that soulless creature which decided that a 20 credit hour course was just right for semester 6th ME. It stands in contrast with the core principles of sanity or maybe the core principles of humanity. What did it think? That it is reasonable to take 20 hourly tests in one semester? That it is reasonable to thrust 40 quizzes and 40 assignments upon students, crushing them within the shear load of a thing they seek (knowledge)? What were its thoughts when it decided that taking eight exams back to back wouldn’t proof detrimental to the mental, let alone physical, wellbeing of students?

Student. A word I have developed a pity for, over the last 20 days. Student; an entity whose faith lies in the hands of an incompetent, hypocrite, “no good” being. A being who teaches you one thing and tests you on another. A being who is in dark to its own shortcomings. Or is it fully aware of its flaws and decides to hide them under the towering pile of waste its mere existence generate? They say that ignorance is bliss. Bliss? BLISS? Has human race finally reached the frontiers of selfishness or has it still to cover a couple of paces in this God Forbidden land? How could you link a teacher’s ignorance to bliss when it can take a student to within inches of committing suicide!

That is right. During these exams, the idea of ending life seemed quite luring, quite convincing. And it was justified as well. It dawned upon me that the notion of a light at the end of the tunnel is utterly bogus. If it was correct than the quality of my teachers should have improved in the sixth semester. But it didn’t. It followed the inverse law thereby upon reaching the semester where good teachers are vital for a student’s sanity, there were none. Their lacking of worthy teaching skills would have been forgiven, had they decided to test us accordingly. But they didn’t. How could you expect a student to recall 428 slides in exam? How could you expect them to solve complex mechanics problems in exams when all you did during the semester was to come to class and copy books examples on whiteboard, without even properly explaining them? But all was not lost. There were few white knights among those nut heads. But, ALAS! They were a precious rarity.

During the last 20 years of my existence on planet Earth, it was for the first time I felt depressed. And I don’t mean depressed in a gayish, faggoty way. I mean depressed in a medical, mental illness type of way. For the first time I was afraid that the pace at which my heart was beating, may cause a rupture of the vulnerable atherosclerotic plaque! Imagine yourself worrying over the possibility of a heart attack, any minute, any second. Then there was this aspect of self-loathing. This continuous nagging in my mind that dying for this worthless cause was a shame. Appetite, I had none. The process of eating just tipped towards food going downwards, rather than other way around. The torture of lying awake, unable to sleep was profound. And so is the intensity with which I denounce the following creature. I loathe him from the DEPTHS OF MY HEART!!!!!!

Me during exams

Filed in: Expressions

2 Responses to “From The Depths Of My Heart

  1. Chaudhaary
    June 15, 2012 at 4:05 am #

    hehehehe, the “examples on white board” part was great…lol.
    i agree to ur point of teachers that there were none at this stage, but i think here it was our luck involved too, u know the good is gone and still the worthy ones are spreading their wings getting ready for the pleasing and lovable flight ahead!
    i wonder what our juniors will be doing , just to satisfy our hearts we can ponder on saying of a very good teacher “BETTER people wil come!”

  2. June 22, 2012 at 1:41 am #

    lol Pity! This is pitiable. I’m happy I didn’t come to read it before/ during my exams. I would have mustered up a neural malady. Good teachers are to be chronicled, now a days. Especially at universities. Good Lord! What is that creature? weird like a Zombie!

Leave a Reply