A Funny Dictionary Of Professions

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I am not a person with good sense of humor, but there are always some humorous thoughts to share. Sometimes they make people laugh at them or make people laugh at me. Anyhow gossip aside, I would just like to share some explanation of various professions we see around. Do not take them seriously, they are just for a laugh.

Electrical Engineers

These are a group of nerdy people who have a perennial habit of complicating things. Current flows from negative to positive terminal but motivated by their habit, they always will say it flows other way round. It’s like asking someone where are you going and he replies I am going to Lahore but the trees in the way are going to Islamabad. These people play with small magical boards called circuits and the economy of Pakistan sorry I mean Economy of College Road is dependent on them.

Mechanical Engineers

One of the most proud breed of engineers who think they are the real engineers. They usually take pride in robust things and hardcore practical stuff that is part of their discipline but will usually start sweating when changing the tires of their car. They are interested in everything apart from the fundamentals of their engineering. They do boast to be able to design breath-taking cars but will always go to mechanic (whom they consider to be inferior to them) to get their own car repaired. Usually found on oil rigs, factories away from modern civilization or any rusty and noisy place.

Software / IT Professionals

These are people who are too bored to do anything practical and usually make software solutions which users seldom understand completely. They write something called codes which resembles some old Hebrew script or some magicians note often depicted in movies. All of the time-wasting stuff available on computers is directly the result of their obsession to develop something useful. Their other jobs include making networks to share movies, crack original softwares developed by their peers, make useless iphone/android apps and create viruses to spread terror.

Civil Engineers

These are overpriced and demanding ’thaekedaars’ who undertake the task of construction of any structure and will usually cost more money and time to do so than a poor real thaekedaar whom they consider not qualified enough because of not having a proper degree. They create bridges, roads, tall towers and other stuff vital to mankind for avoiding mother nature’s wrath but ultimately become victim of these things as they fail to stand for any minor increase in loads.

Fashion Designers

They are nothing more than modern darzis and darzans who thought to change the way they do business and build some image and earn respect in society. They create seasonal wears and innovative designs that you wont be normally able to wear in your country. Most of their products are over-priced and are seldom bought by people who genuinely are crazy about their dressing.

Doctors

Much like fashion designers, they are modern form of hakeems. The similarity between hakeem and today’s doctors are that both seldom know the cause of problem but always have a solution to the problem without knowing how it might work. They are indeed the most hardworking of all the professions when in their student life. Often recognized by a white coat and a stethoscope around their neck which serves as a show piece.

Airline Pilots

These are people who have issue of not being able to get a good sleep at home and ultimately end up sleeping in cockpits. They are much more active than Marco Polo and get to travel around the world free of cost. Usually they are confused people and always need a co-pilot with them to tell if their plane is continuously going down or when to take off.

Telecom Engineers

These are people who set up mobile and internet networks that are extensively used to make prank calls, download gigabytes of movies from torrents etc. Much of the chaos in society has emerged due to their efforts as they have worked to increase the internet speeds and make phone calls cheaper and far-reaching. Found in excess in Pakistan.

Mechatronics Engineers

A Mechatronics student is much like an indecisive girl who is confused what to wear when going for a party. Similarly, these people are always confused about whom they actually belong to: Electrical side or Mechanical side. Irony is that both of these potential guardians of this discipline normally make fun of them. However Mechatronics engineers do some of the most amazing stuff any engineers are doing today. They make robots that do not follow in robotics competitions what they are programmed to and other machines to create unemployment by automating almost everything.

Business Managers

They claim to be good at managing business and running corporations, managing accounts but cant beat a typical munshi at doing so. They come in various forms like marketing (who are paid to trick people by telling this new soap will give your skin ultimate nourishment and clean oil whereas back at factory, the same old soap would be packed in new covering), Human Resource (employed to manage workforce but ultimately get managed by them), finance (munshis) and many other related useful positions. They sometimes think their subjects are the toughest in the world whereas an average doctor studies’ are some 10 times tougher than theirs. They dress better than people from any other profession and perhaps that’s the only thing they do well.

It's just lil bit of joking

Those who do find that electrical engineering is for them, may appreciate information on an online electrical engineering degree.

Senior Mechanical Engineering Student by profession, Formula One fan by passion. I have keen interest in engineering and the way it can be used to change things around. Other interests & activities include Writing, Hiking, Aviation, Blogging, History, Politics, Life & Career Development.

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